Back and Pathetic

Wow! Really been some time… Well, when things go wrong and I don’t really wanna pour my heart out to anyone, that's when I start blogging again…

Mister M and I finally decided to take our relationship seriously and the past 19 months with him has been rocky yet happy but now it's come to an end, although we've almost ended it a number of times, this time I think it's for good… I don't know if I should be saddened or happy about this coz finally I won't be affected or hurt by what is happening or could happen with all that stand against us… but then again, the happiness goes away with it too…

Is it really worth fighting for? It’s only been two days since we ended our relationship but it’s just so difficult… I guess I’ve gotten so used to him being there and now it’s just so hard to cope… I feel so incomplete…

I’ve spend the past two days shedding tears not caring whether I’m at work, or driving or whatever… I look back and we’ve just been through so much and now it’s like none of it matters… I know that I’ve had a lot to do with what happened coz I’m a stubborn person and although I know he’s in a sensitive state now, I just haven’t been understanding enough…

I have felt ignored by him lately which I have tried to understand coz of what he’s going through but I’m human and I feel hurt… I just wanted to feel loved… be comforted! Is that wrong? Is that too much to ask for?

I’ve tried talking to him yesterday to patch things up but he said he doesn’t wanna talk about it for now… after that I’ve decided to just try to accept his decision… I just hope I can stand by what I said…

I feel so pathetic…